


of stars

by david (honeydont)



Category: Starlight Express - Phillips/Stilgoe/Webber
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Low vision Pearl, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:40:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29020602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeydont/pseuds/david
Summary: Rusty shows Pearl something new
Relationships: Pearl/Rusty (Starlight Express)
Kudos: 8





	of stars

**Author's Note:**

> some creative liberties were taken bc i have done so much research and still barely understand how trains work

"Pearl," Rusty says suddenly, coupling her to Dinah, "are you busy tonight?"

"Yeah, she's busy!" Buffy hollers from the adjacent track, where she and Ashley are waiting to be connected. "Busy taking people sight-seeing!"

"It's a long-haul trip, hun." Dinah joins in. "Why do you think we're taking the sleepers?" She inclines her head towards the aforementioned cars, currently busy chattering softly amongst themselves.

"Right," comes the reply. He sounds disappointed. Rusty doesn't say anything else as he backs up, switching to the other track just behind Buffy.

She lets out a little whoop as he pushes her forward, cupping her hands around her mouth. "Full steam ahead! Let's go, let's go, let's go!"

"Alright, keep it down," Ashley drawls, exhaling a lazy plume of smoke. "You're going to shake yourself all up again."

"Maybe they'll put better food in me if I do," Buffy shoots back, good-naturedly. "I don't get how humans can stand to eat that awful stuff."

Pearl feels a smile start to creep across her face and she bites her lip, trying to hide it. She looks over her shoulder, watching their silhouettes draw closer. Buffy reaches out, grabbing onto her. She waits until Rusty backs away again to tap her on the arm, motioning for her to bend down.

Pearl complies, curious. "Hey," the buffet car whispers into her ear, "betcha he wanted to ask you out."

"Buffy!" Pearl squeals in response. She jerks away, face flushing.

Rusty stops, drawing Ashley to a halt. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes!" Her reply is far too quick to be perceived as anything but suspicious. "Let's just get going already." She rises onto her toe stops, bouncing slightly. They're heading west, and she's excited. Pearl loves seeing new things, experiencing new things, with a sort of desperate passion that almost borders on obsession.

There's a slight jolt as Ashley couples to Buffy. Rusty switches back to the adjacent track, facing her. "Well, you're ready now. I'll go tell Gook." He makes to skate off, then pauses. "Um." Rusty hesitates, running a finger along the brim of his hat. "When you get back-"

"Hey!" A yell from the front of the train interrupts him. "Are we ready to go or what?"

Rusty puts his hands on his hips, clearly annoyed. "I'll see you later then, I guess."

Pearl hears the thrum of his engine fade away. A few moments later, another jolt runs through her. She can't hide the smile this time as they slowly inch forward, picking up speed as they go. _Finally._ She wonders what their first stop will be. Wonders how many people will be riding on her. Maybe there'd be families, with children pressing their faces against her windows, enthralled by the scenery flashing by.

She also wonders if maybe, just maybe, she'll finally meet her dream engine on this trip.

"Hey." Buffy says again, startling her out of the beginnings of a daydream. She has to raise her voice to be heard above the wind. "He's definitely going to ask you out when we get back. You know that, right?"

She can't exactly say she'd be surprised. It'd been pretty clear from her very first day in the yard that Rusty was head-over-wheels for her, and Pearl, well...she doesn't know if she can say the same. She _likes_ Rusty. Of course she does. He's sweet and he's easy to talk to and he's always gentle when coupling and uncoupling all the rolling stock. But she likes him a way that's strictly platonic.

She's pretty sure, anyway. It's just that sometimes when he smiles or when he's moving her, a little bit of machinery deep inside flips in a way that almost makes her feel like she's about to be sick. Pearl generally chalks those little hiccups up to the same defect that gave her poor vision.

Pearl's uncomfortably aware of the expectant silence from her fellow coaches. "What?"

"Well?" Buffy's still at it. "What if he does?"

"Maybe I'd say yes." The words fall out before she can stop them. "Just as friends, I mean," she adds hastily, ready to be done with this conversation.

Ashley lets out a little, hoarse laugh. Buffy eyes her with a raised eyebrow before shrugging and switching targets. "What about you, Dinah? You gonna be missing your man?"

"It's only a few days." Dinah turns to look at them. "We've been apart for longer than that before."

Buffy says something else, but Pearl's tuned out at this point, busy slipping back into her favorite daydream.

-

They roll back into the yard a few days later. It's night when they arrive. The yard is still and quiet, most of her fellow rolling stock already asleep.

"Hi." Rusty stops next to her. It's hard to hear him over Buffy's loud snoring.

"Hi," she says back, smiling in his direction. His headlight is lit, the pale yellow glow falling across her face.

"How was your trip?" Rusty lingers, ignoring Gook's shout from further up the train.

Excited words spill out of her. "It was so amazing! Everything was _beautiful_ , Rusty! I wish you could've seen it-" She snaps her mouth shut, a pang of guilt shooting through her. Of course Rusty can't see it. He's their switcher; he never leaves the yard. For the first time, Pearl feels a little bad. How boring does that have to be?

She gives him another smile, more strained this time. "I think you should go see what Gook wants." She inclines her head in the diesel's direction.

"Yeah." His light moves away.

Pearl squints at her surroundings. The shadowy shapes of the buildings all blend together into one ambiguous mass, interspersed with the occasional lamp. Behind her, Buffy wakes up with a sudden jerk.

"Oh, are we back already?" She yawns.

"We've been here for a while." Ashley's amused voice floats in the darkness.

"Mmm. I always fall asleep after they close me down for the day."

The light from a lamp glints off Dinah's hair. Pearl focuses on it, locating her friend by the smudge of yellow. "It has been a while." She sounds a bit uncertain. "We should've been uncoupled by now. You girls think anything's going on?"

Pearl looks ahead, trying to make out Rusty's headlight. Nothing.

"Probably just Gook being a bas-" Buffy cuts herself off as Dinah makes a scandalized noise. "Um. You know." Ashley laughs again and Pearl can't help but giggle as well.

It feels like hours before Rusty finally comes back.

"What took you so long, hun?" Relief colors Dinah's words. "We were starting to get worried."

"Sorry." Rusty pushes his hat up. His light is on Pearl's face again. "Gook was giving me some trouble."

"Told ya," Buffy mutters under her breath.

Rusty backs up a bit, uncoupling the sleepers, who leave immediately, muttering in annoyance, and then Dinah. Pearl clears her throat when he gets to her. "Rusty?"

"Mhm?" He's focused on his work.

"What were you going to ask me earlier? Before we left, I mean?"

"Oh." He tugs his hat down, the brim covering some of his headlight. "It's- it wasn't important. Just forget it." He unhooks her from Buffy. Pearl glides forward a bit before coasting to a stop, almost bumping into Dinah. Pearl guesses she stuck around because she's also curious to hear what Rusty was going to say.

Buffy and Ashley join them a few moments later. They all stay where they are, staring at Rusty. The steamer looks back at them. "What?"

Someone pushes her forward gently. "Go talk to him." It's Dinah. "We'll see you later, sweetheart."

Pearl drags her toe stop behind her, slowing to a stop in front of Rusty. A sudden nervousness overtakes her, making her feel jittery. Like she needs to get out of here. Pearl pushes the feeling down and tilts her head to the side. "Won't you tell me?" She puts a playful, teasing lilt into her voice, trying to make Rusty laugh.

It doesn't work. He turns away, light dimming. "No, it's nothing. You're probably tired, right? You should go get some sleep."

Pearl scrunches her nose up, frustrated. " _Rusty._ Please?"

"Fine." He turns back to her, ducking his head. "Um...you mentioned once wanting to know the yard better, so I thought I could show you things. One place in particular."

"You...want to take me on a tour in the middle of the night?" She hadn't been expecting _that._

"It's not really a _tour_ , exactly. I just- um." He presses his hands to his face and sighs. "Can you just...look up for a second?" Pearl blinks, confused, but complies. "No, further. Look at the sky."

She cranes her neck back, gazing at the expanse of black above her. It makes her feel very small for some reason.

"Can you see them?" Rusty continues. "The stars, I mean."

Pearl scrutinizes the sky for a moment longer before shaking her head. "No. Sorry, Rusty." She looks back at him, at his light. "You wanted to show me the stars?"

He shifts slightly. "Yeah. There's a spot just outside the yard that's really good for that. But if...if you don't want to-"

"No," she interrupts, almost without realizing. "I want to. You can describe them to me."

"Okay." There's his smile, huge and bright. Mesmerizing. Pearl gets a funny feeling in her stomach and she smooths her hands down the front of her skirt, trying to ignore it. Rusty turns around. "Grab on, then."

She does, and they take off. The night's so still it almost feels like they're the only two in the world right now. Rusty's warm and he smells like coal. Some of his steam drifts back into her face, threatening to make her sneeze. She resists the urge and turns her head away, watching the shadowy yard flash by. Pearl can hardly believe Rusty can go this fast. They're out of the yard before she even knows it, into the open countryside.

The wind picks up, the cool breeze almost intoxicating. Pearl loves this. She loves-

Rusty starts to slow down, curving gently to the right. "Almost there."

They stop beneath a tree. Rusty's light illuminates it, branches shaking gently in the wind. Pearl can hear the quiet rustling of the leaves. There's crickets in the distance. "There used to be a station here once, a long time ago. Poppa told me." Rusty gestures in front of him. "But the tracks get bad after here."

She peers over her head, imagination conjuring up wild images. She can see the smudge of the tracks, fading away into the night. "Oh," is all the observation car can think to say. She glances up. The hazy orb of the moon hangs in the sky. "So." The word floats in the air. "Tell me about the stars." Pearl's curious; she'd known that stars _existed_ , of course, but she'd never been particularly interested in them before now.

Rusty's headlight switches off, plunging them both into darkness. Pearl gasps, startled. "Sorry." Rusty's hand finds hers and gives it a small squeeze. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't," she lies.

He pulls his hand away and she has to stop herself from reaching out and taking it again. She holds her own hand instead, clasping them in front of her. She can't see Rusty, but she can hear him in front of her. The gentle thrum of his engine is comforting.

They stand in silence for a while, looking up. Something about this moment seems so fragile that Pearl doesn't want to speak, afraid of breaking it. Finally, Rusty clears his throat. "Um. Can I..." His fingers brush against her hand again. The funny feeling in her stomach comes back, and Pearl swallows.

"Sure." She's not sure what he wants, but she trusts him.

Rusty uncouples himself and turns around. He takes her wrist gently and stretches her arm out and up, so that she's pointing to the sky. "That's Jupiter," he says, and it takes her a bit to realize he's talking about a constellation. "Humans named her after one of their planets. She crosses the sky and meets No. 119 once a year."

A grin tugs on the corners of her mouth. "Where's that?" Pearl squints at the sky, a giddy sort of excitement filling her.

"You can't see him right now."

"Aw."

"But I can show you him when he does come back," Rusty adds hastily. "In the winter."

Pearl glances in the direction of his voice. She hasn't experienced winter yet. Would it still be fun, doing this with Rusty in the cold? She thinks so. "I'd like that."

"Okay." She knows he's smiling again, somehow. Rusty moves her arm to the left. "There's Rocket. He was the first steam engine."

"The first _ever?"_

"Well, the first _true_ one," he amends. "There were other engines before him. But they were a bit...weird."

Pearl can't help the giggles that escape her. They only increase when Rusty tells her about the little engine that lost a race against a _horse._ She's seen horses before, on her routes; they're strange and spindly, and Pearl can't imagine one of them winning against a piece of rolling stock.

Rusty laughs too, spinning her around. Pearl gasps, breathless. He moves her arm again. "And...there's the Starlight Express."

The reverence with which he says it makes her peter out into silence. Pearl stretches her hand out, wiggling her fingers slowly, almost imagining she could touch the sky. She's heard Poppa and Rusty talk about the Starlight Express before. Pearl doesn't quite believe in it herself, but she knows it's important to them.

"There's his smokestack," he continues, tracing a shape in the air with their hands. "And there's his headlight. The humans call it the North Star because it never moves."

"So he's always there?"

"Mhm. Poppa says he's the spirit of steam engines and that he watches over us to make sure we're okay." Rusty's quiet for a bit. "But...I think he might watch over _everyone_. Because it's not fair for others to get left out."

Pearl turns her head away at that. Left out. Like he is. She bites her lip, searching for something to say. "How do you know about all this?" She gestures with the hand Rusty's holding.

"Poppa told me."

"Right." that seems obvious enough. Pearl scuffs her toe stop against the track. "So...are all the constellations engines? Are there any coaches?"

"Um." He sounds a bit awkward. "There might be? Poppa only talks about the engines, though."

She nudges him playfully. "Well, make one up, then. For me?"

Rusty laughs again. Pearl can hardly stand how much she likes hearing it. "Okay." He turns her a bit to the right and traces out another shape. "That's Pearl. She was the most beautiful observation car ever made, and she lives in the sky. Her windows are made out of stars, and she can see everything from where she is."

Pearl's very glad it's dark right now so Rusty can't see how furiously she's blushing. The funny feeling in her stomach creeps down her legs, making her afraid her knees are going to buckle. "I think that one's my favorite." She keeps her tone light, teasing. "My turn."

She moves her arm, taking Rusty with her. "That one," she hopes she's actually pointing at a star," is a steam engine. He's fast and strong and he never gives up. And he's kind, and sweet, and gentle..." Her blush deepens as she realizes she's basically describing the engine of her dreams. "His name's-" Pearl clamps her mouth shut before she can say it, pulling her hand away.

"What's his name?" Rusty's voice is right in her ear. His heat seeps into her. Pearl finds herself wanting to stay like this. Forever.

"Um-" she panics, blurting out the first name that pops into her mind. "Ray!" 

"Ray?" he repeats, voice an odd mixture of amusement and disappointment.

"Mhm." She nods her head quickly. She'd been about to say _Rusty_. But that can't be right. Pearl likes him, a lot - a lot more than she'd even realized - but he's not her dream engine. She'll just have to keep looking until she finds him.

The sky's lighter now. "Oh!' Pearl gasps, her embarrassment momentarily forgotten. "The sun's coming up!" Pale pink - her favorite color - rolls over the horizon, painting the smudges of clouds. "I've never stayed up all night before." A yawn escapes her and she quickly covers her mouth. "Sorry."

She can just make out Rusty's face. He has a little smile aimed at her. "Let's go back. Are you working later?"

Pearl shakes her head. "Not for a while. Oh..." A sudden thought strikes her. "What about you? Won't you be tired?" Rusty's the only switcher they have; he never has a day off.

"It's okay." He shrugs slightly. "I don't sleep much anyway." He shifts so his back is facing her. "There's no turnaround here, so we'll have to go backwards. That okay?"

"Ooh, exciting," Pearl teases, hitching him to her. Rusty laughs a bit at that.

She watches the scenery go by, gradually getting lighter as the sun continues to rise. "Rusty?" Pearl says quietly when she thinks they're almost back at the yard.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it." He sounds a bit distracted. Probably busy making sure they don't crash into anything.

"No, I mean it," she persists. "That was...it was really nice. Thank you."

Rusty turns his head over his shoulder and looks at her. "I'm glad you liked it. I don't usually get to do stuff like that."

"Because you're always busy?"

"Yeah," he says again. "I'm usually stuck in the yard." They pull in just as he says that. The yard's still empty, but Pearl can hear a low noise in the distance. Everyone's starting to wake up. The thought of it makes her yawn again.

They slow to a stop . "You should go get some sleep." Rusty disconnects her, patting her hand. "I'll see you later?"

"Of course." She gives him a tired grin. "You're my switcher, mister." Pearl can't help but giggle at the rhyme. She waves and turns onto an adjacent track, heading to the coaches' lodgings.

She's ready to go to sleep and dream about her dream engine.


End file.
